Tag Archives: Stupid

.. you wanted to know why

I was going to send this to this guy who I’ve been talking to and sleeping with for the past six months and something happened and this what I was going to send him, except that he’s an ass and I won’t. 

I wish I could take back the poem I wrote, thank god I didn’t send it to him. Not that I would have.

Anyway this is what I Wrote, hope you have a good laugh over it Imaginary audience. It’s anything but funny. Honestly. Lost of emo-shiz going on down there

“See, the thing is I don’t know what am I doing and what are we doing, I mean I know what we are ‘doing’ It’s just that I don’t know how or why or what and it frustrates me because I generally have control over things, except when I am drunk even then when I’m sober I figure things out, chalk them out and keep my priorities and head clear.
And then there’s you. 
You are magic and I can’t figure you out and I hate not being able to figure people out. I’ve no idea whatsoever as to what goes around in your head or your opinion of things etc etc and even when I ask you, I presume you aren’t lying but I wonder how much of the truth are you hiding.
And you know every damn thing about me, you fuck with my head a lot more than I’d admit in person and I don’t like it. 
Because you are all secretive and confidential and hushed, and I understand but It’s tiring and it’s tedious

and I hate being understanding, I usually get my way.
And I don’t like having close friends or telling people about ‘whatever’ unless I’m sure they are here to stay or whatever which I’m not of you and it makes me uncomfortable. It’s like I’ll have to pry you open with a crowbar to know even the teeniest of things. 

I don’t know what you are, I know you are a guy and a wonderful one that too but I’m intimate with you and it’s uh.. it’s been 6 months and I don’t do six months, or six dates. I either end things or they go on and on, and tbh I’m just dreading the point when things run their course and without an explanation you disappear, even if you disappear with a logical, rational, perfectly sensible explanation it won’t help. 

And things will get complicated, they always do and they always are specially in my head as much as I try to keep them simple, straight. And I don’t like complicated, anything complicated. I don’t like Math, history and complicated. 

 

I don’t like it when people I care for leave, because I don’t stop caring for them once they do and it drives me crazy not knowing how they are and what they are upto and if they are okay.

I love most people I care for, I do. Honest-to-god-do-anything-for-them kind, and mostly it’s simple and I don’t get over things. I’m super emotional (true that, my friend), cranky, dramatic etc despite my “awesomeness” It takes me years to get over the tiniest of things and I cn’t fight with people. I can’t and I dont do that and I hate confrontations, I’d rather go without chicken for 3 weeks straight than have the “talk” 
and I hate not-knowing. 
and I don’t know anything.
you.

Despite all your theories about me, I am a simple person. I may not seem like that but I am. I love my family and friends, do things I like and get attached to things, have dealt with shit (not a lot of it, but alittle) in the past and I like to keep things simple.

And It just hit me then, the magnitude of what I am or have been doing and I was scared or  whatever of the repercussions.  

Anyway, That’s all. 

you are rude and nasty but then you are nice and gentle. See, he left so will you because people leave and like him you’ll hurt me and disappear and I won’t be able to get over it and it sucks.

Day 7: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality

I don’t care about Zodiac signs, I’m a Virgo. I know that, beyond that I am clueless about Zodiac signs and I do not believe in them.
My mother on the other hand is a horoscope-fanatic. In a country like mine, where your horoscope is more important than your achievements
I can understand where her fascination stems from.
According to her, she just thinks that it is ‘interesting’ If you insist Ma, If you insist.
Having said that, According to my mother Virgos are painful and unbearable. Her experience with Virgos seems highly limited because I’ve been her only case study and she needs to have a bigger sample study (I’m trying to be all scientific because it’s anything but sciencey, so it’s funny. I’m sorry for my terrible sense of humour). when I told her this, she asked me to look around and see if I know Any ‘Normal Virgo’ (What is normal?) And now, as much as I hate to admit I agree with her because All my friends who were born around my birthday Are a Pain in the Ass, but then I realisIt’s not funny how much they whine and I am the Queen of whiners! So I’ll try not to be painful and unbearable, because I don’t want to be another statistic especially not when it comes to zodiac signs. I mean where is the damn logic?

Also, According to some other people I asked Virgos are obnoxious, loyal (not-promiscious was what they said) and very clean and tidy. And oh, get a load of this they are perfectionists. heh. heh.
Oooops.

I don’t sound very virgo-like. Obnoxious and painful, yep. I admit. But Let’s be honest here Most people my age are unbearable, Most PEOPLE Are unbearable of whichever age.

I personally feel that it;s VERY Stupid, but hey! If it floats your boat then why not! But I’ve a problem with people meeting me, asking me my name and the second thing they want to know is my birthday to gauge my Zodiac sign. It’s infuriating! Why don’t you see for yourself what kind of a person I am, instead of generalising it?
Anywho, I shall read up on Zodiac signs and see if it proves to be correct or if it’s just lucky guesswork.
Will keep you updated Imaginary audience.
Let me know if you think your zodiac sign fits your personality.
Ciao. 😀