Tag Archives: Music

30 Day writing Challenge: Day 12- Bullet your whole day

Yesterday I was going back to Delhi from Pune. Pune is where my friends are and where I did my schooling from, Delhi is where my mother just moved to and where my college is. I had gone to Pune for my vacations, for about 10 days. I was in the train yesterday, I reached Delhi around 11:00 PM.

  • 12:00 AM – Was reading Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
  • around 12:45 AM Went out of my compartment for a smoke
  • Kept calling people for Worldcup updates
  • Read a chapter of Midnight’s Children by Rushdie
  • 1:30AM got off at Chalisgaon junction, for a minute to buy some water
  • Ignored the stares and swore to always buy 10 bottles of water in broad daylight
  • Ran towards to train because the stupid piece of shit began moving
  • 1:35 AM – Listened to some black keys
  • Cried some for Spain, wondered about how could netherlands underperform like that.
  • around 2:15ish – sat at the door and cried for Pune and for those people I call friends
  • Enjoyed the last of Rain and the cool breeze because Delhi summers can kill you
  • Went back to my seat, listened to some oasis and Nirvana till 4:00 and eventually dozed off
  • woke up around 11:00-11:30, smoked a cigarette
  • Went back to sleep because I wanted to daydream somemore about the so-called-new-found-love of my life.
  • Woke up at 12:45 to Pee and eat a little something. 
  • Had some blue lays, checked my phone for texts from my terrible friends (there weren’t any)
  • Went back to sleeping and daydreaming
  • Woke up again, had some mango juice
  • smoked another cigarette, took a dump
  • Finished the book Into the Wild 
  • Started watching Into the wild – The movie
  • Watched twenty minutes of it, didn’t feel like it
  • re-watched 500 days of summer
  • Read some midnight’s children
  • Had some mint chocolate, okay A LOT OF MINT CHOCOLATE (note: I don’t like mint chocolate but It’s like this compulsion where you have one and you need to have another few hundred milk chocolates. ya’know? )
  • Walked about the train, spoke to a few people
  • stared at a couple getting all coupley. hehehehhehehehhe. luls. PDA IS AWESOME! 
  • Played with a couple of kids. They had clay and were making shiz with clay so yea, I joined them. I LOVE CLAY. I LOVE KIDS.
  • Spoke to a  woman my  ma’s age who had a daughter my age. (I had a lot of mutual friends with her daughter too. Whoooop. This is such a small world!) 
  • She kept saying things, my ma would say and kept telling me how people my age usually are and how I’m slightly off. (she didn’t say this in words but yes, she almost nearly said it)
  • Learnt a lot from her about the workings of a mother’s mind. 
  • Cried some for Spain. 😐
  • Applauded the performance by other “apparently weaker” countries. Damn this worldcup is SO EXCITING. 
  • Waited for Delhi, as the train was running late by 2 hours.
  • smoked another cigarette, breathed in the HOT north Indian air. :\
  • Dozed off again while that woman watched seven pounds on my Laptop (I’ve never seen seven pounds.)
  • Woke up, unchained my bag, packed my stuff, waited some more for Delhi
  • Kept calling people for the world cup updates
  • Reached Delhi at 10:30 PM
  • Hitched a ride with this other woman I’d been talking to
  • She was going where I lived
  • Went across the city with her and her brother
  • spoke to Them, learnt a lot about rich people and how they make money.
  • 11:20 PM Got off near my place, smoked some and walked back home. 
  • Met my DOG after 11 days! 😀 
  • met my ma and brother after 11 days
  • Ate Ghar ka khana (a Home cooked meal) and whined about how hot it is in Delhi
  • Started watching the Match. 

 

30 Day writing challenge – Day 11: Shuffle your Music Player and 12 songs that pop up

Day 11: Shuffle your Music Player and 12 songs that pop up

I’ve also attached the links to these songs, if anyone is interested. 🙂

 

1. With a little help from my Friends – Beatles

2. Falling slowly – Glen Hansard

3. Banao Banao – Papon

 

4. Hello, I love you – The Doors

5. Betterman – Pearl Jam

6. The man comes around – Johnny cash

7. All we ever do is say goodbye – John Mayer

8. Here comes a regular – The Replacements

9. Bruised orange – Bon Iver

10. Going to California – Led Zeppelin

11. Have love will travel – The Black Keys

12. Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright

Day 8: The moment I felt most satisfied with my life

The Moment I felt most satisfied with my life, Today’s Challenge made me smile like a retard. Isn’t it weird that we run behind such monumental things all our lives only to be content with the tiny ones, It’s the small things that make a difference.

Small things and Big money. ( The Clash between the idealist in me and the struggling-student-in-a-third-world-country in me is crazy)
The moment, The moment when I felt satisfied. MOST SATISFIED but not exhilarated, or exuberant, The moment I felt truly content was sometime last December. Oddly enough it wasn’t when I got my tattoo, or got a kick-ass college or when I got a car ( luls. because I don’t have a car :P) or even post-mindblowing- sex. I did feel satisfied but … It was sometime last December.
I went back to Pune, the city I completed my last two years of schooling from (also grade 6,7 and 8) The city where my brother and mother were and where my friends still are.  So I went back home after my Semester end exams.


One day, out of the blue I planned to go over to a friend’s place for the night, her mother was going to be out of town and we had planned to call our friends over get drunk or high, or both and just chill and catch up.  (Note: This was also the night when I puked for the first time after drinking, I drink a lot but don’t puke. I’d never puked before that and have never puked after that. It was just a sudden whiskey shot {I hate shots!} and it just came up and I puked in my hand, splattered some on my friend’s face too but hey! It’s okay, right?)

We sneaked the guys in around mid-night, they had to jump over a hedge and everything, in order to hide from her neighbours. So by 1-1:30 we had finished a bottle of whiskey
and were done with the second round of joints. With their inhibitions low, one of them was sitting on her bed-crosslegged staring at the wall, my musical friend was strumming on his
guitar, the third one was crushing some stuff for the bong and giggling, another was playing with my hair and pulling it, while I sat on the floor in the weird way that I sit while my friend whose house it was leaned against the wall, her clothes falling off her, her gorgeous hair spilled all over laughing at us.


And then, my musical friend started strumming ‘sutta ‘ (sutta is Hindi, or modernised Hindi for cigarette) , it’s like Indianised, explicitised collegey Summer of 69 or something on those
lines It’s legendary that song!, anywho he started playing it, humming alongside and all of us started singing with him on the top of our lungs. We were screaming (we weren’t supposed to because the neighbours could hear everything and my friend, along with all of us could get into trouble) but we sang. we sang all three verses, the chorus, the guitar riff and we smiled at each other, and we laughed. And God, in that moment I swear we were infinite. It felt so pure and simple. I have sung songs in my hoarse voice hundred of times, but there was something about that moment. I remember looking at each one of them, individually and I could feel them and see the spark in their eyes.
They felt it too, I hope. Jesus, I was content. satisfied. Happy. I wasn’t with all of my ‘official best friends’ (I’m lame, that way.) but was with some of the best of my friends,
I was in a room full of people I loved, I love with all my heart and soul.

I forgot, we forgot about things. About pending assignments, getting screwed, our parents finding out about our whereabouts, about the unpredictable future and deteriorating grades, about hating college and not having girlfriends or boyfriends.
We were high, high enough to feel things we hadn’t felt but not high enough to zone out (that happened later that night!) so that amplified our emotions, but good lord I felt like charlie, when he heard the tunnel song. I had this fleeting thought, where I realised how content I was there, in that moment and that place, It was then and there that I realised that it was home, that those people were home.
That moment was home.

We didn’t do anything monumental, we almost got into very serious trouble, we didn’t do anything illegal (ok. heh. underage drinking and substance abuse doesn’t count.
occasional, recreational drug abuse is okay. okay?) We were just a couple of 18 year olds, with an old guitar and no adult supervision.

And In that moment, I swear we were infinite.

The Milk-Carton Kids – Michigan

An Indie-Folk duo from California, the Milk-Carton kids are mindblowing. You can not stop listening, you can not. They are really great.

Michigan by The Milk-Carton Kids is a song that will take you back in time where you had to leave something behind, for good and as much as it hurt you there was nothing you could do about it.

You took the words right out of my mouth
When you knew that I would need them”

These lines really resonate with me.

On terrible days like today (It was a really really crappy day!) this song seems to echo in your veins and the words seep deep into your mind only to remind you of how alone you are and what if you hadn’t left that part of you behind. It was inevitable, leaving it behind but what if you hadn’t? It’s like feeling homeless when you are sitting under a roof, your roof and feeling orphaned with your parents in the next room or feeling lonely in a room full of people.

It’s the sense of loss and longing and nostalgia that is so overpowering, that you end up questioning yourself. Saudade. The immense feeling of loss for something that will never come back.

It reminds me of how I have left over 6 cities and changed so many schools, the last drive out of that town or city. That moment when you know you can visit but you’ll be a visitor and that someone else will reside in your house, and that you question what home is?

That last drive out of the town, when you look at those things you know like the back of your hand for the last time with those eyes and leaving that part of you behind. When you know you need to leave but you don’t want to, when you know it’s the right thing but it hurts so much.

Maybe I’m reading into it, a little A LITTLE too much. But hey, I had a terrible day. I’m allowed to be philosophize and rant.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEDnGAvjQXw

 

What am I supposed to do now, Without you?

PS: Check out their other songs, they are AWESOME!

One Goodbye, Maybe it’s time etc. Listen to them Imaginary audience.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 6 – Write thirty interesting facts about yourself

1. I have a tiny little mole on my right breast. ( I have no idea why this was the first thing that came to my mind!)

2. I can sleep for over 72 hours at a stretch ( I only need to pee once every 24 hours and a bottle of water next to me)

3. My feet are always dirty. Always. whoop.

4. I detest Starbucks, Costa Coffee and all these super-commercial, super-trendy franchises. I prefer street food. Oh. Oh. Oh and I don’t like I-phones

5. I spend all my money on books, food, lingerie and alcohol. I don’t buy clothes or go to movies like normal people

6. I have a type when it comes to guys. I like them tall, dark and lanky. Yes. Honestly. I have a type.

7. I love lemonade and Water. I love Lemonade and water more than half of the people I am friends with on facebook

8. I can finish a bottle of Whiskey in one hour fifteen minutes and not puke. I’ll just go to sleep.

 

9. I want to fly a plane, drive a train, own a harley davidson, drive a metro, an auto and a truck

 

10. I really really want to meet Eddie Vedder and touch his face. Like touch it, repeatedly. And run my fingers through his hair.

 

11.  I can not lie. I used to, once upon a time I used to lie even when I didn’t have to but not anymore. I can’t. And even When I lie it’s written all over my face that I am lying.

 

12. I like Literotica but have never read mills and boons or 50 shades of grey

 

13. I want to join the politics and travel the world which is impossible unless I steal tax money and use it to travel the world. (hmm. Sounds like a good idea!)

 

14. I swear a lot. In Many languages.

15.  I really want to have sex on the kitchen slab. Really.

 

16.  I have a terrible sense of humour and  I crack really lame jokes but it doesn’t stop me.

images (2)

17. I really want to be good at math. I feel the day I understand calculus is the day I’ll solve all the mysteries of the universe. Which I know is really stupid, but hey!  A girl can dream.

 

18.  I know who Syd Barrett is.


19.  I’m hypocritical when it comes to smoking


20. I love the chase. I LOVE THE THRILL OF THE CHASE and yes I can admit it. The real-deal is something that I’ve never experienced, and mostly when that stage arrives I’m already bored and feel trapped and hence, I bail.

 

21.  I love music. Like everyone, I love music. I love music. I listen to classic rock, post rock, progressive rock, country, jazz, pop, trashy pop, cheap D-grade hindi songs and everything in between. I’m the kind of person who would shuffle through my playlist and play a song while I’m face-to-face fighting with someone, because I feel every situation needs a background score, and I try my level best to achieve that. Music like chilly improves everything. Be it sex or a fight (it’s the same thing in some cases!) If you have any music suggestions pleeeease drop in a comment.


22. I sleep with my underwear on which is weird apparently.

 
23. I can not make out or have sex or sit in a room without music. Wait, I think I’ve already mentioned this. eh. Sorry.

 

24. I rebel against almost everything. More often than not it’s unintentional, It’s very hard for me to come to terms with anything and I end up questioning almost everything a little too much which can be a bit of a problem. sometimes. okay, It’s almost ALWAYS a problem.


25. I HATE COLLEGE. Most college going students LOVE college or sometimes the idea of it, I absofuckinglutely loathe the very concept of college and let’s not talk about how horrid I think that place is. Pretentious people who can only talk about these “so-called-intellectual” things, They are such pseudo-everythings. Christ.

 
26. I don’t like making friends, I honest to god don’t like making new friends. I have too many friends to begin with and it’s hard enough keeping a tab on them, so yes. I don’t like making new friends and the fact that I’m anti-social doesn’t help, It just aggravates the situation. As a result I’ve only half a friend in college and I’ve been here for almost a year. Just half a friend.

 

27. You know what do I love to eat? Nails. Fingernails. I’ve not used a nail cutter to cut my fingernails in over ten years. Yep. Disgusting. I know. I grow them and then eat them. Nails. Yumm.

nckbcksb
28. I am super-possessive about my friends and family, LIKE SUPERRRR possessive. And protective. Also, I love taking care of people and worry a little too much when someone is sick or injured.
29. i like washing utensils and clothes but can’t keep my cupboard organised or my room clean

 

 

30. I have slept with two guys, Was in love with the first and I’m half in love with the second one. Unfortunately for me both of them are unaware of it.

 

 

I had made a list like this sometime last year, here’s the link imaginary audience.

http://starspebblesandcolours.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/things-about-me-which-i-thought-were-normal-but-arent/

Day 5 – A time you thought about ending your own life

Imaginary Audience I can assure you , this is going to be super-depressing. You may bail right now, or halfway through it eitherways I will never find out.

Disclaimer: I like to dramatise things a little, please ignore my theatrical skills ( read: the images)


So, A time when I thought about ending my own life. I’ve had very many moments where I’ve thought of ending my life, sometimes I know I’m kidding other times I’ve to convince myself that it will pass. I’m self destructive, have always been so though in the recent past I’m trying really hard to curb this habit, but as you know Imaginary Audience Old habits are harder to break than Iron Bars. Anywho, the moment I read today’s challenge some instances clicked and I’ll mention them briefly.

Through grades sixth, seventh and eighth my father’s friend sexually abused me whenever he visited us, touched me inappropriately, try to kiss me etc etc, So this once in eighth grade he was staying over at our place and I was sleeping in the next room while my brother and my parents slept in the third room, So that night he tried to get inside my bed and tried to force himself upon me. I managed to bite him, hit him and kick him out of my room but the horror never left. That night I wanted to kill myself.

Then once in the ninth grade my parents were fighting and I know parents fight and my parents fight a lot and things got uglier than ever and I was taking care of my younger brother, picking up things my father was breaking, trying to console ma, hoping that the neighbour’s wouldn’t hear and I remember sitting in the toilet wanting to die, wanting to kill myself.

Then this once I was travelling alone to Jodhpur in the train and Was sitting at the door, while the door was open (yes, here in India you can open the train door and smoke, spit, stare or whatever) and the sun was setting and I felt sad ( I think my abandonment issue were acting up, the fuckers!),  but content because I was in a beautiful place and I realised that I could never see all the beautiful places and the future seemed bleak with my depressing college full of snobs, the deteriorating state of music, lack of talent ( I can’t even breathe properly sometimes let alone walk straight) and I would rather burn out than fade away and I wanted to die. I was sad but content and all of sudden I Couldn’t breathe and I was heaving and crying and I felt tired, I felt as though I was forty at eighteen and it was depressing.  You know the need to make your mark, to debate and fight for the right, the need to do the correct thing, I think I left it in that train that day.

I think that was the day I lost my life, the ambition I had in me. I threw it out of the train with my cigarette bud. That was the day I realised how very menial we are, we are nothing but pricks on the planet and we are as likely to help the universe as we are to harm it ( Johngreenreference ) I didn’t want to change the world, or destroy all nuclear weapons, I just wanted to be. I have never recovered. I’m still that girl sitting there, staring at the sunset with the cigarette between my fingers feeling insignificant. It was that epiphany that changed me. Sometimes I still wish I had followed my instinct that day because I’m a disappointment to the society and my lack of interest in the world worries my parents, but then here I am.

Here I am with these mosquitoes sucking the living daylights out of me, with some good, new music in the background. That’s it for now.

Kodaline :D

Flavour of the WeeK (or maybe the next ten years) *drumroll* Kodaline !

Previously known as 21 Demands, Kodaline is an Irish Rock Band and GOODLORD they are Amazing! ( I’m a firm believer of random capitalisation 😉 ) They sound a lot like Coldplay and One Republic but despite that there is something refreshing about them, maybe it’s the fact that they’re not auto-tuned. The vocalist is mind blowing, I like him better than I liked Chris Martin ( No offence, Imaginary Audience!) The Music is GREAT and oh the lyrics! :’)

Kodaline is perfect for those late nights when you feel nostalgic or those long drives in the country.

All I want, Talk, High Hopes, one day are some awesome tracks to begin with, Imaginary audience you must check them out! I’m open to suggestions 🙂

Not all music out there is trashy, look for good music and you’ll find it.

All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door

Before I forget ‘ All I want ‘ by Kodaline is the soundtrack for The Fault in our stars film, based on a book by John Green ( who is one of my favourite authors and this is my second favourite book by Green!)

Go on, FanGirl people. 😀

Don’t let me down

DON’T LET ME DOWN. TING DI DI DING DING, DON’T LET ME DOWN.:D

OH BEATLES. :’)

This song undoubtedly, is one of my favorite Beatles’ song. I can imagine Lennon’s knees half bent, that beautiful-love struck-but-pained expression on his face, while clenching his fingers in the air with his quivering jaw and moist eyes, yelling,” Don’t let me down!” at Yoko Ono, who is hazy in a white flowy dress while sad.

he smiles at him.

i just cannot seem to get that image out of my head.

SO Yesterday during one of my lectures in college, we were discussing the “whether the Subalterns can speak for themselves” and while everyone in my class, continued to put forth their opinion about the it, all I could think about was How could Chapman Kill Lennon?

That was all that went about in my head, while everyone talked about the real world issues. How could he have done that? I felt like an asshole, but somehow I actually enjoyed the conversation in my head a lot more than the class discussion. It’s not like I am disinterested, I care a lot and I am interested but I think talking about it won’t help and also, music makes me a lot happier than worthless discussions which are forgotten in a minute. I would rather go out and do something than talk about it. Back to Lennon, How could Chapman have killed him? Why is it so that most part of the brilliant music that is created, goes unnoticed in today’s world? The world is an extremely unfair place.

I am such an asshole.

Nobody ever loved me like she does, Oh she does..

Sigur Rós – Sæglópur

Sæglópur is a song by the Icelandic post-rock band Sigur Rós. It is Icelandic for ‘Lost at sea’. Though I don’t understand the lyrics, the music it is unreal. When it starts it feels like he is starting on a journey, taking the necessary precautions and then he begins. The trials and tribulations  the world raging a war against him and he is still trying to hold up, hold o. He is fighting the war in his mind, the war around himself, Then he begs, the stars and the sun and the moon to save whatever is left of him. To give me some peace, some closure.This song is the work of an absolute genius. It gives me hope, breaks me down, dusts my ass and helps me stand up again. In a weird way it gives me the support to enter the great unknown, it is teh entrance to the land of dreams far beyond the regular universe. I love it. The video is a thing of beauty in itself. It’s a joy to listen to this song!

Thank you Sigur Rós.