30 Day writing Challenge- Day 1: Your current relationship, or how single life is

30 Day writing Challenge-

Day 1: Your current relationship, or how single life is

Officially I’m not in a relationship, I’m just being a horrible person at the moment. So Let me confess I’m not ‘dating’ anyone but I’m sleeping with himself. We are ‘friends with benefits’ So technically I’m single but I’m sleeping with someone and yes, I like him. I don’t think he likes me though. I love it- the No strings attached routine. We cuddle, we laugh, We are cute, we avoid fighting, emotions and all that Jazz. I know it’s not like they show in the movies. I know that He won’t fall for me, One of us will get hurt etc. etc. But sometimes it’s okay to just let go. I don’t like relationships, I’m terrible at them. I don’t talk enough about myself, don’t confide in them , laugh too much, criticize their taste in music, talk to everyone, act nasty, fight at every given chance.


It’s very hard for me, the whole I-don’t-care-for-you facade. It’s not really my thing. I’m honest, sometimes brutally so and I really really like himself. I’ve liked him for almost two years now, Ever since I came to this city. We dated for a while, it didn’t work out for him but we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I dated someone else for a while after that (didn’t cheat on him! ), but that didn’t work out as I was still hung up on himself and then I couldn’t connect with him- intellectually. My ex and I – there was nothing to talk about. I can talk to himself even though He is an asshole to me, and If I’m not wrong he is taking me for a ride but I like him and I don’t like people for too long anyway, I get bored, I am unstable but him, he is my shore. I don’t feel a lot for a lot of people, I’m really narcissistic. I like a very few people, that too for a very short period of time. Daddy issues, as some might say. I don’t trust people, I like having fun but that’s where it ends. I’m horrible once you get to know me, I’m moody, I’m annoying, I talk too much, I ‘m loud, foolish, mean and downright nasty.. !

I’ll probably end up getting really hurt in the long haul and I might even deserve it, I suppose but I really don’t care. He is the only person who knows so much about me, who knows me so well and he brings me happiness- even though they are in small dosages  and occassional. It’s worth it. I haven’t really gotten that physical with anyone, and don’t plan to in the near future but I don’t regret any of it. It was fun, It made me happy and It still does. We are cute sometimes too, we cross that line between friends with benefits and a couple are are very cutesy and cuddly, sometimes annoyingly so. So it’s not just sex, For me. He is a friend too, the closest I have at the moment. Though I’d never admit this to him.

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Both of us don’t know what we are doing, atleast I don’t but then again we are 17 and we aren’t supposed to. We are supposed to be foolish, reckless and irrational. It’d break my heart if I see if with anyone, but then again we are ‘just buddies who are sleeping with each other’ so I don’t really have the right and so I will sit here, write anonymously about himself and how awesomely weird things are, and how I love sex, how I really like him ad how he’ll never know any of these things ( unless he knows, already! ).

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I don’t think what I’m doing is wrong, because I’m not hurting anyone and really it’s very big a deal. He makes me happy, I talk too much and piss him off. So I hope to get away from the city, get my dream college and a big part of me hopes that he doens’t come to the city where I go to, because honestly I don’t think I’ll ever get over him and I’ve already spent two years thinking/crying/praying/hoping, so now it’s time for me to cut him loose and grow up a little and make a life of my own. I will probably stop being friends with him too, because let’s be honest I don’t think we can ever be just friends. Because I’m half in love with him and I’m just his booty call. So no, Thanks. I’ll pass. 🙂

And then again, as they say-

😉

cheers!

7 thoughts on “30 Day writing Challenge- Day 1: Your current relationship, or how single life is”

  1. This was a great post that I can relate to! I think I will join in with the challenge as I rarely post daily. I’m subscribing because I like your blog and I hope you like mine, though its only at its beginning!

    p.s If you want it that badly, never give up. Its better than never knowing what could have happened. xx

    1. It’s really hard to be regular, I agree. I too am trying. I like your blog, it’s really wonderful.
      I’m trying not to, but then sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. He doesn’t really care. Anyway Thank you SO much.

      1. Has the situation changed at all? I fell for a boy that didn’t care about me (he will be chapter 4 by the way in the blog) And he is still in my mind even though now he is six hours away. Its hard to move forward. ‘Some times you win, and sometimes you learn’. The best is always yet to come 🙂

      2. I’m sorry, I just saw this comment. It’s been over 9 months since you wrote this comment. How are you now? Over it/him? I’m not, still stuck there. The situation is worse, we just don’t talk which is understandable but it isn’t because we were best of friends. So yes, it gets as miserable as it can get. Yes sometimes you win and sometimes you learn, and sometimes despite losing you refuse to learn. :/

      3. Hello, and to respond to your question on my love life, since chapter 4 there have been many more stories, but most have been short affairs with one other that made an imprint of my heart. I have been knocked down but now i see that it has taught me how to get back on my feet.

        It is hard to get over someone if you are still under someone, assuming you don’t talk but do still see each other? If you still like him but know there is no future then you have to face it. and facing problems is always better than hiding, or forcing yourself to believe a lie.. x

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