I feel so hopeless right now. So bloody hopeless. It’ almost as though 6 months under the blanket with the lights switched off and the music on full blast won’t help. I want to die, I really do. I never talk like this, but honestly right now I’m so tired, I’m so done. I’m so fucking tired. All i want to do leave, and never come back. Leave everything and everyone, this need to so overpowering that I can’t breathe right now, or maybe my asthma is acting up. I don’t know. Even the end ( the doors) isn’t helping. This actually feels like the end. I’m so f’ed up.