Who Am I ?

Psychology is one of my subjects and it might be the study I major in, one thing that I’ve learnt by studying it is all of us have issues. ALL of us. We just can’t escape them, and It’s important to come to terms with it and know where and how they originate and how they affect us.

Now back to me, ( I’m such a narcissist ) For a very long time, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me,I knew something was though. I knew I wasn’t schizophrenic  neither was I suffering from OCD. I was just unstable, ( I almost came to believe that I had borderline personality disorder) Then one day I realized that I was just weird, plain simple weird. Which isn’t a disorder. I’m as normal, as a weird person can be and I suppose everyone feels like they are ‘unusual’ and ‘weird’. But I still had my issues.

Being an Army brat, I’ve had to change cities and school very often, due to all that unstability while growing up, I can’t commit to anything. I’m very duty conscience IF I’m supposed to do something, I’ll go out of my way and do it but IF I have to commit to something, someone I can’t. I start getting annoyed, I need my space, which is way too much to ask for considering I need a lot of it, I need my things to remain as it is, I need people to not question what I do and how I do it. All in all which is too much to ask for and isn’t fair on the other person.

I need to move houses, need to see new people, travel, I need the change now. I wouldn’t admit it if you’d ask me in person, but I know it. I can’t stay in the same place, with the same people for too long. I’m already in love with the people I’ve never met and the places I’ve never seen. There is this craving in me to leave, I love leaving even though it breaks my heart and I pine for the old place, I love it. I love starting afresh. I love not staying for too long. I’m unpredictable, moody and I leave

and that is what I am. It kills me and a lot of others but that is how it is. It’s easy now, since I know it. Earlier I used to wonder what was wrong with me.

I forgive easy, I leave early, I sleep in late, I’m moody, I’m cranky, I’m hyper. I’m your average teenager with existential crisis.

🙂

The need to possess more.

Breathe, Eat and Survive. Isn’t that all we human beings were supposed to do, when we first came into existence but soon enough, things began to get complex. Emotions came into play, our basic needs increased, Stress, Kids, having a home. We humans began wearing clothes to look good and fit in, instead of wearing clothes to cover ourselves and protect oneself from the weather. We have evolved, and we still are evolving.

Let’s skip all the biological things and hop on to what I wanted to say.

Despite the fact that we need only air to breathe, clothes to wear, water to drink, food to eat and shelter over our heads for survival why has everything become so complex? things used to be simple, you want something you grow it, or exchange it for something else. You don’t want something, you leave it be.

Now we want more than we need, and sometimes we ignore what we want and go for what others want. Greed, The desperate need to want more of everything is something I don’t understand. I understand if there is a dearth of things and in order to fulfill your needs , you want more of something, but what I don’t understand is when you have a sufficient quantity of everything, why would you want more of it. Why can’t people be happy in what they have? The horrible need to possess more is overpowering the man-kind and how!

Economics is based on the study of scarcity, alternative uses and unlimited wants. The world WILL be a better place if people were more satisfied with what they have, instead of wanting another unit. If only, people would look beyond themselves and into themselves all at once. It’s hard, not to think about oneself and oneself alone for less than 24 hours in a day, but I reckon it’s high time we do it. Otherwise where will we all be in another few years?

 

The Nature does help, it does contribute. If only we use as much as we need, there will eb thing left for all those who have nothing and Maybe then we’ll be a better planet.